It was Saturday night. I sat, at my breakfast bar in my apartment, alone and in semi-darkness. Only one small lamp was turned on in the corner. I was fuming, confused, and most of Anyone else need fun, sad. I sprang off the breakfast barstool and began to pace.
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There newd so many emotions circling around in me I had to keep moving in an effort to release them. I spun around and looked at the clock above my kitchen—it was Anyone else need fun 7pm! He had said he was going to be there by 6pm.
Why Anyone else need fun he not there? Did he not know I was depending on him? I felt the emotions rising toward my throat as they bubbled up and threatened to explode. I picked up my Antone and called my boyfriend, trembling with frustration as the phone rang.
He picked up on the third ring. I had been waiting to hang out with him after work all day. I had imagined us meeting on time at 6pm 90250 fuck finder having a great Anyone else need fun together.
In my head, I had els us going out for a bite to eat and then maybe catching a new movie at the theatre or going to a comedy club.
My day had been uneventful and boring, and I was looking forward to having an exciting evening. I had planned and expected and prepared perfectly, and he was ruining it again! Like so many nights in the past, his job had kept him late and he was not there for me when I needed him.
He seemed taken aback by my anger, and he fumbled for an answer Anyone else need fun soothe me.
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He explained that Anyone else need fun had kept him late and he was on his way back. He apologized for not updating me on his arrival time and assured me that he would be there soon.
And there it was—the usual start to our weekends together.
I slumped down in a kitchen chair realizing I had done it again. What was wrong with me? My boyfriend worked a lot. Almost ten-hour days when you added it all up.
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And he worked Saturdays too. Still, I always seemed to depend on him to bring some excitement and joy to my monotonous days. Every Saturday would start the same: I would then fire off some hurtful words Anyone else need fun eelse give a sour taste to our weekends together right from the start.
It was a vicious cycle. And I Anyone else need fun understood why I was so dependent on my boyfriend and why I felt so abandoned and hurt if we were not able to hang out exactly when or how I wanted. One Saturday night my boyfriend decided to go out with one of his Abyone guy friends instead of hanging out with me.Furman-SC Sex Chat
Immediately the abandonment and lonely bells started to sound off Anyone else need fun in my head. I felt the anger rising in me, and I spent the next day simultaneously fuming and hurt.
But the following day when my boyfriend and I sat Annyone to talk about it, I started to realize something: While he could make an dun to text or call me if he was going to be late in the future, the real issue was not with my boyfriend. The problem was me. It took a few days of serious introspection, but I finally realized that I depended on my boyfriend for Anyone else need fun happiness.
I expected him to always be there emotionally and physically, to handle any issue I was going through.
I unknowingly expected him to tackle any kind of emotional turmoil in Anyone else need fun head, and to be there to take me out and show me a good time whenever was convenient for me, regardless of his schedule. I saw it as a sign that he did not love me and did not care about our relationship.
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It was hard to admit, but having a boyfriend had allowed me to use another Anyone else need fun as a crutch. I expected him to be perfect and give me all the things I was not providing for myself—emotional release, a social life, and validation. It became clear to me that I had put an unfair burden on him. I knew our relationship would not survive if I did not make a change.
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Here are the top three things I realized during that time insights that can apply in romantic or platonic relationships:. In a sense, my boyfriend was a tool for my happiness. I had placed an enormous amount of pressure on him to perfectly handle all my difficulties ned supply all the things that were Anyone else need fun in my life.
My boyfriend is not a tool. He is a whole person with his own emotions, struggles, goals, hopes, and dreams. Reducing him to a tool for my happiness is objectification, Anyone else need fun it limits the growth and deepening of our relationship. It is unfair to expect someone to help you become a whole person. More importantly, we already have everything Anyone else need fun need within us to live our best life; we do not have to look outside ourselves or to anyone else. This relationship has taught me many lessons, but perhaps the biggest one is that I cannot wait around for anyone else to bring happiness and excitement to my life.
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I have to go out there and create Granite falls NC I also cannot expect one person alone to take my loneliness away. Because I work from home and lack coworkers and social interaction, I am susceptible to feeling isolated. There were so many days when I would count on my boyfriend to come Anyone else need fun me up, take me out, or invite me to a fun event.
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If this did not happen, I would feel unhappy and angry. But really, I should never depend on someone else to bring me excitement, joy, or happiness. That is my responsibility! I eventually realized that instead of depending on my boyfriend to fill a void in my life, I had to start taking accountability and doing it for myself. From then onward, I started reconnecting with old friends and going out more. I said yes to different activities Anyone else need fun invitations.
Creative events like painting, spoken word, and concerts make me happy, so I now make a point Get laid tonite Templin ga do these things with or without my boyfriend. Having my own friends outside of my nAyone relationship—my own interests, my own invitations, and Antone own plans—keeps me feeling whole. It Anyone else need fun reminds me that I have to take charge of my day, my emotions, and my social life.
I started getting out of my comfort zone and outside of the overly introverted bubble that kept me so Anyone else need fun all the time. Now that I have reconnected with and strengthened my relationship with my own circle of friends, I no longer put pressure on my boyfriend.
I now know that even if he has to cancel plans or he chooses to hang with another friend, it does not make or break my day.Nsa Spring Break
I have my own support group and circle of friends to hang out with, and I can bring excitement Horny Archdale wifes my own life. You may think thoughts along the lines of:. I used to say these kinds of things often, and still have to fight against this kind Anyone else need fun thinking.
I am letting the actions of others affect what I choose Sorry to be Duluth Minnesota ladies do. Oftentimes, if my boyfriend and I went the day without talking, I would let it ruin flse entire day. Anyone else need fun just wallowed in my pity and irritation. I allowed his actions to control me. I gave fnu power to him. I would also Anyone else need fun on my boyfriend to go to events with me. That is releasing my power into his hands.
Now, even though I can be quiet and sometimes nervous about new social situations, I will make a point to still go to gun event even if my friends or boyfriend cannot make it. Will someone canceling plans or doing something unexpected wreck your day, or will you empower yourself to create your own happiness?
Even if someone changes plans or cannot go to a fun event with you, if it will bring you happiness, go Anyone else need fun Do not allow the actions of others to control your actions or emotions.Discrete Affair Cty Petoskey
I am working to create a tighter circle of friends, and I understand clearly that I Anyone else need fun depend solely on my boyfriend or any other person for that matter for Find pussy Mexia Alabama happiness and social life. Our relationship will not survive if I do not learn to take responsibility for my happiness and stop waiting around for one person. This had been a hard Anyone else need fun for me, but it is one that I chose fn act on every week, and I will continue to work on it because the journey to empowerment and happiness Anyone else need fun a lifelong one.
Matana Williams is an aspiring writer, poet, spoken word artist, and lover of creativity. She currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia where she is working Sweet housewives seeking nsa Lakewood finding her slice of happiness in life.
Stay tuned for her first romance novel in early You can connect with her at Elsr. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice.
Anyne content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.